Is The Holiday Cuffing Season Making You Settle for Less?

Jordyn Mayes
Oct 8
4 min read

Jorzy Talks the Pressure to Find a Partner for the Cold Months.

Reader Submission: "How do I fight this fear of being alone for the holidays and learn to embrace my single life during the coziest time of the year?"

"Dear Jorzy, It’s 'cuffing season', and I feel intense pressure to find a partner just so I have someone to take to take home to the family holiday parties and keep me company during the cold months. I’ve been dating casually, but now I’m rushing things and sacrificing my standards, and I know it's not healthy. How do I fight this fear of being alone for the holidays and learn to embrace my single life during the coziest time of the year?

Dear Holiday Yearner,

It's that time of year, isn't it? A time full of cheer, giving, community, and the ultimate epidemic of loneliness and family pressures to find a partner. As much as we are excited to spend time with our families and enjoy some well-deserved vacation time, it comes at the cost of having to face our Great Auntie once again... with or without a partner.

Sometimes the stars align just in time, and other times we’re faced with a tough decision: settle for company or stand strong on our standards.

For starters, let's just set the record straight: Being single is okay. Especially if it's because you are standing firm in your standards and aren't settling for people who are absolutely not worth your time. We’re all feeling the pressure; it's getting colder, and they don’t call it Netflix and Chill for nothing. But at what cost?

The truth is, there are pros and cons to every situation, whether you're dating or flying solo. A partner might provide cover from Auntie’s questions, but they also represent a huge sacrifice of your own time. You might spend all your vacation hours bouncing between two places instead of focusing on what you need. You know that rushing out of fear is never the path to a healthy connection.

Here are the things you need to consider to fight the panic, reclaim your standards, and win the season:

1. Dating is Fine, Showing Off is Not

It is absolutely okay to date casually through the holidays, but you don't have to force things to move quicker in the name of having someone to show off at the family functions. A genuine connection develops at its own speed, not on the schedule of your family's Thanksgiving dinner. Keep your standards high and enjoy the company you choose, but protect the slow, deliberate pace that leads to real commitment.

The Situationship Exception

The beauty in all of this is that the choice is entirely yours, and no one has to understand it except you and your potential holiday companion.

If you and your situationship person are already on the same page about the holidays, then go for it! This works because you both have a clear, mutual understanding of the terms—it’s low-stakes, low-pressure, and purely for company. Just make sure the expectations are crystal clear.

2. Recognize the True Cost of a 'Cuff'

Have we truly considered the stakes that come with introducing someone to the family? The fatherly interrogations, the intense stare-offs, the awkward energy... when all we wanted was to enjoy a nice meal.

If you lower your standards now, you’re essentially starting the new year with a big ole' smelly pile of regret. The cost of that hurried relationship is compounded the moment you introduce a person you barely know into the most high-pressure, stressful environment there is: your family during the holidays.

The Dysfunctional Factor

If your family is dysfunctional or a source of anxiety, bringing a rushed partner into that chaos is an enormous burden. Not only do you have to manage your own stress, but you have to manage the stress of a newcomer who is completely unprepared for your family's particular brand of drama.

And let's be honest: What if their family is also completely dysfunctional, or even worse, can't cook? Some things just aren't worth the rush, because you may get burned in the end, just like their family’s side dishes on Thanksgiving.

3. Embrace Solitude as an Underrated Luxury

The best way to fight the fear of being alone is to reframe your single status as a luxurious opportunity. Freedom and alone time is an underrated luxury that we don't always get to enjoy often. Use this season to be completely selfish with your time and energy.

Use your saved vacation hours to recharge, invest in hobbies, or just enjoy your own presence without interruption. No coordinating two families, no compromising on travel plans—just pure, unadulterated time for you. Winter is also the perfect time to deepen platonic bonds. Organize a weekly dinner with friends, plan a collaborative holiday baking session, or start a book club. These relationships are your true, reliable support system and will decrease the likelihood of you feeling lonely. Lastly, try to channel your energy into something productive. That could be learning a new skill, traveling, or getting a head start on your goals for the new year. Having a goal gives you purpose and makes your life feel full, proving you don't need a partner to provide fulfillment.

The true magic of the season comes from warmth, connection, and joy. You have the power to create all three for yourself. I may not have all the answers, but I will say your energy is valuable, so don't waste it. Invest it in a life you genuinely love.

Yours in seasonal self-care,

Jorzy

Want me to weigh in on your situationship drama, quarter-life crisis, or friend group betrayal? Send your story to our contact page and I just might air it out, anonymously, of course.

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