Finding Your Sister Circle: Navigating Friendships in Your Mid-20s

Jordyn Mayes
Sep 16
4 min read

Jorzy Talks the Art of Making Friends in Your 20s and Building Sisterhoods That Last.

By Jorzy

Reader Submission: "How do you find your people in a world where everyone is so busy?"

“Dear Jorzy, I'm a 26-year-old living in a new city after a big career change, and I feel like I've hit a wall. All my friends from college are either married, starting families, or still living at home, and I feel like I've been completely ghosted by my social life. It feels impossible to meet new people when everyone seems to have their own established circles. How do you find your people in a world where everyone is so busy?"

If you feel like you're in a friendship drought, you are not alone. Making new friends in your 20s is a real challenge. It takes effort, vulnerability, and a little courage. Unlike those built-in friend groups from college or high school, finding your people now requires you to be intentional.

You might have heard that it's "impossible" to make friends after a certain age, but let's be real: that's a total myth. Even with a busy schedule and life changes, you absolutely can build meaningful connections that last.

For Colored Girls (2010)

Why Making Friends in Your 20s Can Feel Hard

Your social world looks a lot different now than it did in college. Here’s why building a new circle often feels tough:

No Built-In Circles: School and work gave you ready-made communities. Now, you have to actively seek out your tribe.
Busy Lives: Between work, family, and other responsibilities, there's less free time to just hang out.
Established Friend Groups: Many people have already settled into their core social circles, which can make it hard to break in.
Different Life Stages: Some friends are dating, others are married or starting families. Everyone is on their own journey.
Social Media FOMO: Seeing everyone's highlight reels can make you feel left out or lonely, even when you aren't.

The Power of Intentional Friendship

This is the real talk: adult friendships don't just happen. They're built on intention and deliberate action. It's about showing up, being open, and creating opportunities to connect. Here’s how to start:

1. Put Yourself Out There With Purpose

Friendship grows from shared experiences. The more you participate, the greater the chance of meeting people who share your values and interests.

Join groups that genuinely excite you like book clubs, fitness classes, wellness circles, or hobby workshops.
Volunteer for causes you care about.
Attend community events, lectures, or professional networking groups for women.

2. Be Open to Different Types of Friendships

Not every connection has to be a "ride or die" bestie from day one. Many friendships start as casual coffee dates, gym buddies, or friendly acquaintances and grow over time. Try engaging with different people even if they don't fit your past friendship molds. You’re expanding your social map.

3. Practice Radical Hospitality

Building community often means taking the initiative. Be the friend you want to find.

Invite someone for coffee or a walk.
Follow up on conversations and remember small details.
Share events or resources they might like.
Keep showing up consistently, even when it feels vulnerable.

4. Go Beyond the Screen

Apps and online platforms can be a great starting point when you're new to a city or seeking friends.

Try apps like Bumble BFF or Peanut.
Join local Facebook or online community groups.
Attend virtual workshops or meet-ups.

But remember, digital connection is only the start. The real magic happens when you move from the screen to the real world.

5. Find Strength in Cultural Spaces

For many women of color, friendship is a vital source of strength, healing, and resilience. Sister circles, spiritual groups, and cultural gatherings create powerful environments where women support one another emotionally and practically.

If this resonates with you, seek out spaces rooted in shared culture and experience. These communities often foster immediate trust and belonging.

Friendship as a Form of Self-Care

Friendship isn't just social—it's radical self-care and a form of resistance against isolation. By intentionally building a community, you create a safety net for your mental health, celebrate victories, and uplift your spirit through shared joy and accountability.

When It Feels Hard, Remember It's Worth It

Making new friends takes courage and effort. It can feel awkward or slow, but every connection you nurture strengthens your life. Friendship is a journey, not a finish line, and you're growing with each step.

Your Tribe Is Waiting

Feeling isolated or stuck is normal, but your tribe is out there. They might look different than you imagined, and that's a beautiful thing. Friendship is a practice and a choice. When you show up authentically, you open the door for real connections.

B.A.P.S. (1997)

Step up to the plate. Make the first move. Invite yourself into new spaces. Your tribe is ready to welcome you home.

Want me to weigh in on your situationship drama, quarter-life crisis, or friend group betrayal? Send your story to our contact page and I just might air it out, anonymously, of course.

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